I just Want to Be Good at Something

My life has not really turned out the way I thought it would. Now, mind you, that's not all bad. It's mostly good. But life sure does give you some surprises along the way. Since fibro has inhibited my ability to hold down a "real" job....and since because of that it has inhibited my ability to bring in money for the household.....I started trying my hand at being "creative" to try and earn some money to help out. Being creative also seems to help me feel better ......if not always physically...it helps mentally. So, for the past couple of years I have been painting and decoupaging and crocheting. It made me feel so good. But I had a bad experience a year and a half ago when I had tried to become a part of a "community" of sorts and was told my items were not good enough to be included in this community. Needless to say I was crushed. It took me a long time to try again after that. And, I'm still recovering from it. I never feel confident anymore. But, today I took a step ......a step that was very hard for me to do. I put some of my "work" in a new little shop that is opening on Friday. The owner has made a big difference in my life with her encouragement. I still felt so nervous though. And looking around at all of the beautiful items in her store made me feel inadequate once again. I am not sure I fit in ...but I will keep you posted. I just want to be good at something.....I want to be good at something that no one else is. I want to be special and stand out because of my talent. Is that unrealistic? Fingers crossed that I can actually sell some items so I can feel productive again. And maybe that will help chase the depression away.

So, That's What You've Been Up To...............

Some of you may know that I don't have a normal job outside of the home because of my fibromyalgia......or whatever it is. I was diagnosed in 2006. And I was approved for disability a year ago......even though it is not alot of money it certainly helps. So, what do I do all day you might ask. Some days it is just a struggle to accomplish normal household duties. But I also help my 89 year old aunt. She is still pretty spry for her age but needs some help here and there. So I do what I can. Sometimes it is depressing, but it also helps me if I focus on her. Does that make sense? I don't dwell on my own aches and pains so much. I also try to spend sometime each day "creating". During the colder months I crochet.....alot. I am just beginning to read the book "Crochet Saved My Life.....the Mental and Physical Benefits of Crochet" by Kathryn Vercillo. Even though I have just begun....I totally agree with the premise of this book. Crocheting allows me to forget myself for a bit, to move beyond my limits.....to use my mind and be creative...which helps me feel better and feel productive. So, today I just wanted to share some pictures of my creations. I also have been able to donate hats to my local pregnancy life center and to the NICU unit where my daughter works. That also makes me feel like I am helping....even if it is just a little. I still struggle.....we still have issues with lack of money which makes me feel like I am to blame......but I am trying not to give up......and I am fighting to keep my depression in check.

Hello Out there! Long time No See!

It was pointed out to me recently that that I had not written on my blog in a while. Sometimes life just takes over. Sometimes I don't want to share what I am dealing with with the whole world. What things you ask? Everyday problems that everyone seems to deal with. I don't want to whine about my problems because everyone is dealing with something. Suffice it to say life is a journey and we all experience bumps and detours along the way. I am still dealing with my fibromyalgia. Some days are so hard....but I try to keep going. I am still crocheting.....as long as my hands hold out.....and I have discovered that it seems to help me feel better....mentally better. I find donating some of my items to the Pregnancy Life Center of the NICU unit really blesses me. I am still helping to take care of my aunt. She is precious but sometimes it is a depressing part of my day. I remember how she was and it makes me sad. I find a lot of joy in my children and grandchildren. There is something so precious to watch your children parent their children. God has been dealing with me also. I no longer look at some things the way I once did. I am not as rigid in my thinking. He has shown me that we are all different and that it is a good thing. He has shown me there is more than one way to look at something and that is a good things also. He is showing me that love and compassion are still 2 of the most important things you can have for others. I am happier now that spring is here. I can't wait to be able to sit outside more. My husband and I are embarking on a healthy eating adventure...hopefully to be followed by more walking. Stay tuned and I will keep you updated. I love fruits and veggies.....but am trying to give up my cola!! Ugh!! This is going to be hard!! Sometimes this world is a wonderful and amazing place.........and sometimes it is a sad and horrible place. I want to try to make my little corner a better place. I am still "seeking eccentricity"...trying to get out of my 53 year old rut I found myself in and I am happy to say I am still on this amazing adventure.

I "Rock".....

Have been spending alot of time lately just experimenting and exploring new ideas. Sometimes I have so much floating around in my head all at once that I have a hard time keeping it all sorted out. Here's some of the new things I've tried:

More...............

In my last two posts I shared with you some of the things I do. Today I want to share with you some pictures of some things I have crocheted recently. I love to crochet, especially for my grandchildren as long as my hand cooperate and sometimes that can be rough. I am self taught so not all of my work is done like someone elses, but I am trying to do as much "learning" on the interent as I can so I can improve my techniques. I will gladly take orders. So, if you have so,ething in mind that you would liketo have, just let me know and we aill get it figured out.

Since I haven't worked in 4 years because of my fibromyalgia this is my way of trying to earn some extra money to help out our household finances. Feel free to contact me if you have any questions or see something you like.

Ok, Can I Bore You Some More?

I promised more photos of some other things I have created. I have made nature inspired note cards and pins to sell. So here goes :)