Awesome!

I had a good day and I wanted to share it with all of you! I can hear some of you saying "well isn't that special!" or "why is having a good day noteworthy?" Ok, ok...I'm getting there.....:) First, it was my morning "off". I take care of my aunt and I didn't have to go to her place this morning. I love my aunt, but sometimes seeing her age and with all of those difficulties can be depressing.... and just having the morning off means I can take my time and do things I don't normally get to do. This morning that meant coloring my hair and having prayer time. Simple but satisfying. Second, I am a part of a book club that is reading "One Month to Live" by Kerry and Chris Shook. I haven't gotten very far, but all ready I am looking at things differently. I had a little extra time and I was going to clean bathrooms. Ah, yes...my life is just so exciting!! haha...But then I thought how nice the day was being cooler, how I had been wanting to just get away and how I had been wanting to try walking at the reservoir. So, I thought why not just go and do it. And I did!! Now, I know some of you are wondering why walking is such a big deal. I admit for most people walking is not a big deal, but for me this is epic!! I used to walk all of the time. In fact I loved it. But, as my fibromyalgia progressed it just became too painful and I stopped going. Well, it was awesome!! Yes, I made it all of the way around reservoir #2......it took me about 50 minutes which I am sure is a lot slower than most folks but that's ok with me. Not only making it the entire way makes me feel so good, but I had a wonderful time. Anyone who knows me well knows that I have a special affection for birds and water fowl in particular. While walking I got to see four ducks, a beautiful goose and four gorgeous cranes!! It was fantastic!! And I was followed on my route by 3 yellow/orange butterflies. I have a sneaking suspicion that they just might have been someone I know and love ...;) My legs are "angry" with me right now, but that's ok. We will see how I feel tomorrow. This afternoon was spent running errands and I was also able to squeeze in yet another quiet/prayer time.....which means a lot to me. The biggest surprise I got though was a gift of flowers from a dear friend of mine who always seems to know what I need before I do. Friends are true blessings!! My hope for all of you is to not take things for granted, to tell the people you love how you feel before it is too late, to love each day as if it were your last and do something that makes you happy!!

I just Want to Be Good at Something

My life has not really turned out the way I thought it would. Now, mind you, that's not all bad. It's mostly good. But life sure does give you some surprises along the way. Since fibro has inhibited my ability to hold down a "real" job....and since because of that it has inhibited my ability to bring in money for the household.....I started trying my hand at being "creative" to try and earn some money to help out. Being creative also seems to help me feel better ......if not always physically...it helps mentally. So, for the past couple of years I have been painting and decoupaging and crocheting. It made me feel so good. But I had a bad experience a year and a half ago when I had tried to become a part of a "community" of sorts and was told my items were not good enough to be included in this community. Needless to say I was crushed. It took me a long time to try again after that. And, I'm still recovering from it. I never feel confident anymore. But, today I took a step ......a step that was very hard for me to do. I put some of my "work" in a new little shop that is opening on Friday. The owner has made a big difference in my life with her encouragement. I still felt so nervous though. And looking around at all of the beautiful items in her store made me feel inadequate once again. I am not sure I fit in ...but I will keep you posted. I just want to be good at something.....I want to be good at something that no one else is. I want to be special and stand out because of my talent. Is that unrealistic? Fingers crossed that I can actually sell some items so I can feel productive again. And maybe that will help chase the depression away.

So, That's What You've Been Up To...............

Some of you may know that I don't have a normal job outside of the home because of my fibromyalgia......or whatever it is. I was diagnosed in 2006. And I was approved for disability a year ago......even though it is not alot of money it certainly helps. So, what do I do all day you might ask. Some days it is just a struggle to accomplish normal household duties. But I also help my 89 year old aunt. She is still pretty spry for her age but needs some help here and there. So I do what I can. Sometimes it is depressing, but it also helps me if I focus on her. Does that make sense? I don't dwell on my own aches and pains so much. I also try to spend sometime each day "creating". During the colder months I crochet.....alot. I am just beginning to read the book "Crochet Saved My Life.....the Mental and Physical Benefits of Crochet" by Kathryn Vercillo. Even though I have just begun....I totally agree with the premise of this book. Crocheting allows me to forget myself for a bit, to move beyond my limits.....to use my mind and be creative...which helps me feel better and feel productive. So, today I just wanted to share some pictures of my creations. I also have been able to donate hats to my local pregnancy life center and to the NICU unit where my daughter works. That also makes me feel like I am helping....even if it is just a little. I still struggle.....we still have issues with lack of money which makes me feel like I am to blame......but I am trying not to give up......and I am fighting to keep my depression in check.

Hello Out there! Long time No See!

It was pointed out to me recently that that I had not written on my blog in a while. Sometimes life just takes over. Sometimes I don't want to share what I am dealing with with the whole world. What things you ask? Everyday problems that everyone seems to deal with. I don't want to whine about my problems because everyone is dealing with something. Suffice it to say life is a journey and we all experience bumps and detours along the way. I am still dealing with my fibromyalgia. Some days are so hard....but I try to keep going. I am still crocheting.....as long as my hands hold out.....and I have discovered that it seems to help me feel better....mentally better. I find donating some of my items to the Pregnancy Life Center of the NICU unit really blesses me. I am still helping to take care of my aunt. She is precious but sometimes it is a depressing part of my day. I remember how she was and it makes me sad. I find a lot of joy in my children and grandchildren. There is something so precious to watch your children parent their children. God has been dealing with me also. I no longer look at some things the way I once did. I am not as rigid in my thinking. He has shown me that we are all different and that it is a good thing. He has shown me there is more than one way to look at something and that is a good things also. He is showing me that love and compassion are still 2 of the most important things you can have for others. I am happier now that spring is here. I can't wait to be able to sit outside more. My husband and I are embarking on a healthy eating adventure...hopefully to be followed by more walking. Stay tuned and I will keep you updated. I love fruits and veggies.....but am trying to give up my cola!! Ugh!! This is going to be hard!! Sometimes this world is a wonderful and amazing place.........and sometimes it is a sad and horrible place. I want to try to make my little corner a better place. I am still "seeking eccentricity"...trying to get out of my 53 year old rut I found myself in and I am happy to say I am still on this amazing adventure.