Does Anyone Do This Anymore

So, does anyone do this anymore? Writing blogs I mean. It's been a long time since I've been here. The last time I wrote about my dear husband having colon cancer. Two years ago he had completed his first round of chemo and we were very hopeful that he had beaten it. He even went back to work.....And then last February he got sick again....and the cancer was back and it had spread. He fought valiantly but it just wasn't enough. We lost him in June. And I lost the best part of me.....and I am not sure where to go or what to do from here. I am struggling. I cry everyday. The memories are painful. I'm told that someday they will be sweet, but right now they sting. I am reminded of everything I lost. I feel cheated that we didn't get to do the things we had planned after his retirement. And I am mad because my prayers weren't answered. I lost my best friend and the love of my life.  Nothing really matters anymore. I struggle with finding purpose in my day. I miss him more than I can tell you. I miss our talks and his wisdom and his love for me. He came to me at a very difficult part of my life and he saved me. He was the best thing that every happened to me...except for my kids and grandkids...but I wouldn't have them either without him. He worked so hard. And I am sad that he wasn't able to enjoy life without working. He was a great father and grandfather. The best dad I ever knew. I'm lonely, but it's just not the normal kind of loneliness. It's deep and intense....unending. No one can really fill the void I feel. And I doubt that anyone will ever be able to. So here I am.....and I'm not sure what comes next.