Ok, Can I Bore You Some More?

I promised more photos of some other things I have created. I have made nature inspired note cards and pins to sell. So here goes :)

Uncertain

Having one of those days where I feel very unsure of myself..."uncertain" of what my future holds. Seriously, there are times when I feel like my life is over now that the kids are grown. Raising my family was my job, my mission, my calling. I feel lost. So, I thought I would share some of the things that I have been trying to do to be constructive and creative. Notice I am not including cleaning, cooking or laundry ...because that will continue forever. (UGH) The first things that I will share with you today are some of the paintings I have done. I am not a good painter, but I have discovered that I love to paint and that it helps me with my fibromyalgia. It doesn't take the pain away, but when I a painting I am focused on the painting and not myself. Of course I am like anyone else...I dream of being "famous"...haha....or selling some of my things to make an income....but I a realistic enough to know that this is just a fun hobby :)...........

Here are a few more:

And.................

That's it for now. I will share some of my other creations in my next submission.

Today Is the First Day of the Rest of My Life.......really

One week ago today my husband and I moved our youngest into college. One week ago tomorrow we came home to an empty house. It doesn't seem like a big thing until I tell you that we have had children in our home for 33 years nonstop and this empty nest thing is going to take some getting used to. My husband and I have never....yes,never....been totally alone. I find myself wondering if we will still like each other. Our whole lives have been centered around raising our family. Now what do we do? Well, I have spent the last week cleaning and getting my house in order. It was neglected when we were preparing for the son's departure. I got some help with my aunt so I could take a few days to get it all done. And, today...is "my" day. I am sitting here typing with "color solution" in my hair. Once that is done I am planning on doing some painting while listening to some soothing music. I'll let you know how that goes as I am not good at doing things just for myself. I would rather be focusing on someone else. I just felt I needed some time to recover from this emotional time in my life. Stress makes my fibromyalgia worse and I feel awful. I have also decided that I need to take more control over my life and to attempt to do things that I want to do. If the weather ever cools down I hope to try to start to walk more. Although this weather is hard on me and my legs have not been cooperating. I want to try to read more. I have been neglecting that recently. I hope that my husband and I can take some little side trips now and then. I want to visit the shrine at Maria Stein. I want to go back to the Toledo and Dayton Art Museums and I want to see if I can find my family's burial plot in Galion, OH. (nothing big....just something we haven't done in ages) The kids are all doing well. I have 2 sons who have just had job promotions, my daughter is a new mother and the other 2 are doing well in college. Life is good. It's just different.....and I miss the kids....and grandkids like crazy. But, today is the first day of the rest of my life. Let's see where it takes me.

Ugh.................

Howdy! Hope this finds everyone doing well. I am having one of those moments in life that seem to bring me down and hang around for a while. We had a bad storm not too long ago and it knocked everyone's power out for a bit and that not good in this weather.....because, It sure has been hot and dry here. I don't do well in triple digit temps.I think it caused me to have a "sick" headache for over three days and I was miserable. And then there are other aggravations like having a sick dog, waiting on a check to come that doesn't show, trying to use your oven and it is dead.....knowing that your class reunion is next month and no amount of dieting and exercise would help you now sort of feeling...bleh. Some days feel like I am in a rut......not even writing seems to help......and that's bad..............life just stinks sometimes.

fibro post script

After writing for fibro fiterz the other day I received alot of positive comments. Some from my own family who I don't think really realized what daily life with fibro is like. I reread what I wrote and noticed I ended on what I am trying to do now to help me cope each day....music and art. I want to expand on that. First of all, personally, I try to not focus on my pain and discomfort. Some days it is harder to do than others. I do not want to be remembered as someone who was constantly complaining and whining. I want to be remembered as someone who tried to be the best she could be, as a friend who cares about others and as a wife and mother who loves deeply and does what she can to help.I want to be perceived as being strong even though I feel like I have failed in some way. So, each day I continue to get up and try to get my household work done.It may take me longer than it used to but I will eventually get it done. Somedays I don't wear make up but I still try to clean up. this helps alot. But i have noticed on those really bad days that make up can actually make me feel better. Put on something nice....something that makes you feel special. I have also been helping my elderly aunt and that in itself reminds me that I am doing ok and am not facing half as much as she does each day. So it makes me look outside of myself instead of constantly dwelling on ME. Not having a paying job has really pulled me down too and so I have been seeking out ways to bring in some extra money. I have tried selling some personal items and this helped for a while but you tend to come to a point where you don't have much left worth selling ...haha. I began asking other fibromites what they do. Some have found jobs that allow them to work from home and others have began creating things they can sell....arts, crafts, etc. This gave me an idea. My father and grandmother were both artists and I had always desired to be one myself. So I decided to try my hand at it. I began making greeting cards, among other things. I have written about this in my blog on blogspot.com.seekingeccentricity(It All Started With God, Me and a Ginkgo Tree), and I might add that writing has also become an outlet for me to share my feelings and thoughts and to help with my struggles. As I create I have also started listening to calming music. I was also encouraged to find my "happy place". So, I made my sunroom into my studio ...into my happy place. I surround myself with the things I love....pictures, plants, knick knacks, etc.....I have also reconnected with old friends....positive friends....who encourage me and keep me going. This is very important. I just want to encourage all of you to look outside of yourself and your circumstances to try new things or to do things you may never have before to keep you positive and lifted up. I admit that it is hard to do, but I also believe it is important for our mental and physical well being. Alot of us have endured the mockings of friends and family saying we are just lazy and even taunts from our own doctors who think this is all in our heads!! How sad this is......and how cruel. I spent many years beating myself up because I believed them. It is not true! This is why sites like this are so important....it gives us a voice so others will hear us!! It unites us to gives us strength and courage to face each day!! We are not alone.....we have each other. Oh, and as for my "career" in art.....I have sold several cards...at this rate i twill be awhile before I make my first million, but you have to start somewhere, right???? To all of you fellow sufferers...be encouraged....be proactive.....hang in there....ask questions....seek answers.... On a closing note you might also try prayer, or meditation depending on where your beliefs lie. I believe that if we keep our soul and spirit strong it helps to keep our body strong. Sending gentle hugs to all of my fibro family!! -- Vicki McClellan 1018 Rosemont Drive Van Wert, OH 45891 419 203 4250 mcclellan5547@roadrunner.com seekingeccentricity.blogspot.com (It All Started with God, Me and a Ginkgo Tree

My Life With Fibromyalgia

My name is Vicki. I live in Ohio. I am married, have 5 children , 4 grandchildren and one on the way. I love to cook, read sew, crochet, paint......I love life....most of the time. For 21 years now I have been dealing with my "mystery illness". I am extremely tired and my body hurts. I feel like I have the flu practically everyday of my life.I have been struggling and each year my symptoms seem to get worse. Loving life has become increasingly difficult. Aprox 6 years ago my doctor labeled my symptoms......Fibromyalgia. I went to a rhuematologist and a neurologist. I have had many tests....but nothing ever really showed up. I have tried many medications. Some of which really messed me up....one made me a zombie unable to function. Another made me gain weight. None have really helped alot. Some just help me manage to just get by. I can't sleep well.....I don't exercise like I should because I hurt....I try stretching....but that leads to cramps.....I can't eat right because I have times I get nauseous. It has affected my bowels which no longer work right and have caused me such pain that I have literally passed out. Making love to my husband is not the pleasure it once was....now I know it will affect me for days afterward. Stress makes me sicker. Brain fog is an everyday thing and I struggle to keep up. My legs don't always work right and it can get scarey. I have not worked in 3 years. I had to quit my last job before they fired me because I was missing so much work. Because of this...and my endless medical bills it has sent my family into financial hardship. I have filed for disability....but am not sure I qualify....and a part of me is deeply humiliated and ashamed for even doing this. I am depressed. It can be severe. Somedays I don't even feel I can crawl out of bed. I have searched my family history to see who else struggles with this and I have found that there are quite a few of my cousins who do. However, we also have a strong family history of autoimmune illnesses and I wonder if somehow these aren't all connected somehow. I have good days. And on those days I probably do more than I should to try and catch up on what needs to be done. However I know that I need to try and pace myself so I don't sabbotage my health for the next week. it is so hard to do because us "fibromites' never really know what tomorrow will be like. Family and friends have a hard time understanding just how bad I feel and just how hard daily life can be. It upsets me but I too feel bad because I am not the person I used to be. Fibromyalgia is real. Fibromyalgia is widespread. Fibromyalgia has robbed me

Taking Inventory of 2011/ What I Desire for 2012

Happy 2012 everyone!!
It's been quite awhile since I have posted here. I can't believe how busy my life has been lately.
I made it through the holidays and 2 weeks ago we welcomed a new grandson into the family who decided to arrive a whole month early. I spent 10 days in Cincinnati playing grandma ......(big smile!!).

As the new year arrived I thought back to what my resolutions and hopes were for 2011:
wanting to write, draw, paint
wanting to be myself and not worry about what others think of me
finding my inner swan.

I am happy to say that I have done pretty well....better than I thought I would.

I am being creative and artistic....I am designing some original notecards and have them for sale at our local Art Factory. I even sold some!! I am conncecting with our local art center and artists.

I am writing....right here is my blog :).

I still worry about what others think of me, however I am still searching for my inner swan and have some great friends to help me and encourage me.

I have reconnected with some old friends which has stretched me. (that old fear of not fitting in)

I have lost 16lbs and hope to keep going. I hope to eat better this year.

I have been asked to help with my 35th class reunion.

I am praying more and reading more.

I am keeping an open mind (as my father always encouraged me to do) and am questioning and searching for things I want to know.

I still think about picking up a guitar again.

I am considering selling some of my creations on etsy, or some other site.

Each day gives me a new opportunity to be the best me I can be.

So, here's to 2012 and new adventures in my life!!

I will try to keep you up to date and involved!!